Toddlerhood: Twin Style

by Emily Pepka

 

Every single person I talked to told me the first year of raising twins would be the hardest. If I could make it through the first year, things would get so much better, they told me. 

Well, I am here to tell you, those people were all liars. I survived my first year just fine. There were challenges. There were adjustments to be made. With 2 extremely premature babies, life was pretty busy and hectic that first year. But you know what...if I put the babies down, they stayed there. If I put them in a swing, they were happy and content for even a few minutes. They woke up every few hours, but they'd eat and go back to sleep.

And then they turned one. Soon after, they started walking. And soon after that, they were running. And before I knew it, I had 2 full blown toddlers. And let me tell you, TODDLERS are hard work. 

Doing the simplest tasks has become such a challenge. I have to adjust and take into account the needs of not just one, but two, opinionated and picky toddlers. Meals are mass chaos. I can't even sit here quietly for 5 minutes typing up this blog post without a kid climbing on my head, 20 little fingers to swat away from the computer, and Yo Gabba Gabba blaring in the background because someone figured out which button is the volume button (just mount your TV as high as possible now, moms of multiples. You can thank me later).

I see pictures of friends with just one child, sitting quietly and reading a book, or painting a picture. That never happens at our house. I might sit quietly with one twin for a minute, but soon enough, the other will require something different, or will distract the quiet twin. Suddenly, a quiet moment turns into a crazy fight over a truck. Please note, we have probably 4 of the exact same truck. None of them are as good as this ONE truck though. 

Now I'm sure there are similar challenges with siblings, but with 2 different ages, I'm sure you don't have two naked kids running around your house, peeing left and right while you try to potty train them. And with that, I think I will potty train one at a time. Let's start with my daughter. Then let's hope I have enough patience left to potty train my son so he's not in diapers at 4. 

All of that is hard. When they run in two different directions at the park things get a little frantic. But our biggest challenge yet is keeping the house safe and toddler proof. I have two very bright children. I am very blessed. They are smarter than they look though, and with one urging on the other, things very quickly get out of control. 

Example:

That would be 2 children sitting on top of the kitchen counter after using the oven to climb up. And why yes, my chairs ARE on my dining room table in the background from a previous incident involving the chandelier. I can't let my children out of sight for a second. I don't take showers anymore. You don't have to sit too close to me, I understand. The knives are now in a drawer that is locked and far out of their reach. The oven is also now locked with a new lock that they haven't figure out. Yet. Feel free to contact me for any tips on good locks for your drawers, cabinets, and appliances. I have a lot of experience. When a vending machine full of child proofing gear at a hospital gets you excited, you know you have a problem. And the vending machine is at CHLA, for those interested ;) and the locks and things are actually cheaper than you'll find them at Babies R Us. I digress....

So let me be the honest one who tells you, the first year is definitely not the hardest. I'm sorry if this is bad news for everyone waking up with their newborn twins at 2am...and 4am....and 6am. But while they are a challenge and make me want to rip out my hair frequently, I wouldn't want it any other way. They make me laugh constantly and have shown me the joys in all the little things in life. They cheer for me every time I enter a room or do a dance (what a self esteem boost!). They're each others best friends. And at the end of the day, when they are finally asleep, while I'm lying there exhausted and partially bald, I miss my crazy little twins and can't wait for the adventures the next day has in store.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

Stranger Questions

Let me get this straight…

by Emily Pepka

Funny and ridiculous things strangers said to us in just one weekend ...

"Oh twins? 2 boys?" – I dress my daughter in an obscene amount of pink and put her in bows and headbands, usually to avoid this question. It clearly doesn’t always work.

"That's a real baby!" -What did you think it was?

"Oh there's 2!" –As my husband and I push around a double stroller. No, we got the double stroller for fun?

"Are they identical?" Ok, we get this one a lot. Usually from people who know we have a boy and a girl already. There's one big difference that makes them not identical. Can you guess what it is?

"Is that your doll?" -As my daughters thrashes violently and screams. I know some dolls can be life like but come on!

"I've always wanted twins."- Another one we get a lot that just cracks me up. Apparently everyone in the world wants twins?   Fine by me, I love having twins, but I can't say it was my lifelong dream ;)

"They don't look alike." – They’re not identical. They're essentially the same as siblings born years apart, they just happened to be conceived at the same time. Do you look the same as your sister or brother?

We also had several women come up to us and move the shade of our stroller to see the babies inside. Awkward. Who does that? They’ve probably covered up for a reason. If there are 2 seats in a stroller and the shade pulled over both, let’s all just assume there’s 2 children in the stroller.

I guess people are just pretty curious about twins.

 About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

Confessions of a Twin Mom

 Confessions of a Twin Mom

by Emily Pepka

Sometimes...I don't make dinner on purpose so my husband either has to make something or we have to go out/get take out.

Sometimes...I go for walks just as an excuse to chit chat with neighbors aka ADULTS!

Sometimes...I leave their clothes on for a few spit up episodes before I change them. Because I just can't be changing outfits every 10 minutes.

Sometimes...I leave the housework undone and laundry piling a little too high, just so I can have extra time to cuddle with my munchkins.

Sometimes...I don't eat lunch. Ok, usually I don't eat lunch.

Sometimes...I let the twins cry a little longer than I probably should, just so I can sit down for just 1 second longer.

Sometimes...I sneak out of bed before the twins so I can enjoy a cup of coffee before the craziness begins. Sadly, they can usually tell I went downstairs and they freak out. How do they know?? Not ok.

Sometimes...I let my babies watch TV because I know it keeps them entertained and happy (usually) and then I can catch up on my DVRed shows while pumping for the 109385081305 time of the day.

Sometimes...I use tummy time as an excuse to wear them out so they'll nap.

Sometimes...I let them nap in their swing, just so they'll nap for a long time and I can get something done.

Sometimes...I just want to lay in bed all day cuddling with my babies. Because I'll never get these moments with them back and I want to soak them all up as much as possible.

Always...I love being a mom of twins :) Yes, I have my hands full. Yes, they're absolutely worth it.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org). 

Parents of Preemies Day

Thank you to BCPMA Member Emily Pepka for this timely post! March 10 is Parents of Preemies Day. This post is a compilation of thoughts and photos from her blog, Twice the Miracle.

What Prematurity Means to Me

by Emily Pepka

Today is Parents of Preemies Day!

That might mean very little to some people, but to the 15 million moms or dads of babies born too soon each year, it means a lot.

What makes prematurity even more difficult is that in so many cases, it can be prevented. With research, access to healthcare and just spreading the word and awareness, the risks of prematurity can be drastically reduced.

Prematurity is very real and it's something you never expect. I was expecting the birth of my first children to be the happiest day of my life, not the scariest. I was hoping to be able to hold and cuddle my babies, but instead, I saw them wheeled away barely breathing. I wanted to take them home with me, but instead, I left the hospital empty handed and went back to an empty house with my little hearts an hour away from me. I was hoping to spend our first few days bonding and playing together, instead, I watched them struggling to survive through plastic with tubes and chords everywhere and a constant beeping going on around me of machines keeping them alive.

And it's just not fair. Not fair that my babies got off to such a rough start. Not fair that my husband hardly saw them for the first few months of their lives. Not fair that I could do nothing but sit in the hospital and hold them and pray they'd be ok. Not fair that so many other parents have to go through this same thing.

Prematurity will always be a part of our lives. It's hard to forget about it now as we go to all the doctors appointments, meet with all the specialists, get the beloved synagis shots for the 2nd year in a row, but I'm not sure I'll ever forget those first few months, or this challenging first year with our preemies.

I know a lot of people look at them today and don't even think about them as preemies and I'm so happy that's the case. They have really overcome great odds to be the healthy wild pair that they are. I'm so grateful that we have been so lucky and that our babies are really starting to thrive.

I look at their faces every day and I'm just overwhelmed with how happy I am to have them and how much I love them. If anything positive came out of them being born too soon, it's my never ending appreciation for how precious they are and how lucky I am to have them.

So steal an extra kiss today from your little ones and tell them how much you love them. They are all little miracles.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).