Breastfeeding Multiples

Disclaimer: I am NOT a lactation consultant. I DO have 22 months of breastfeeding experience under my belt. This doesn't make me any sort of an expert but I am an advocate for breastfeeding so I wanted to take a minute to share with you some things that have made breastfeeding the best option for our family and a very doable experience, even with multiples.

When I first gave birth to my twins prematurely the lactation consultant came into my room about .2 seconds after I left recovery from the c-section. She asked me if I wanted to breastfeed. I told her that I did, but was it even possible?

Turns out, even having a c-section, even having premature babies, my body still knew to produce milk and I needed to feed my babies. As it turns out, breast milk was the only thing besides IV fluids that they would give my babies since they were so premature so it became my mission to be a successful breastfeeder.

I am here to tell you first and foremost, that just because you are having more than 1 baby does not mean that breastfeeding is out of the question. It's harder, it will take some patience, determination, and good old fashioned hard work, but it's doable. If that is what you want, don't let the fact that you're having multiples scare you off. There were a few things that worked for me. Again, I'm no expert, but I have learned a lot in breastfeeding 3 children.

Patience is a virtue
I have no patience. I am the first to admit it. I was hooked up to a machine to start pumping an hour or so after my twins were born prematurely and I had no milk. I didn't take the baby classes since my twins were born so early and while I knew milk didn't come in right away, surely it should come quickly or else all hope would be lost! It took 3 days for my milk to come in. I was positive all 3 days that breastfeeding wouldn't work because I wasn't getting any milk. I was a failure. After 3 days though, my milk came in, and I never looked back. The stress of not getting any milk probably made the milk more delayed than it would have been. So sit back, relax, realize that whether you're nursing or pumping in the beginning, it takes time to adjust, for your baby to adjust, for your body to adjust, just sit back and let nature take its course.

Surround yourself with support
I had to exclusively pump for over 3 months before my twins were old enough to latch well. That was 3 months of pumping around the clock. It took some dedication, but if it wasn't for the NICU nurses and hospital lactation consultants as well as my supportive family and friends, I don't think I would have lasted pumping that long.

No matter how you get the milk to your baby, you're breastfeeding and don't let anyone discourage you.
While eventually, I did end up nursing my daughter, my son never took to it. He, to this day, has delayed oral motor development. He just couldn't muster up the strength to nurse and a bottle was his only option. I continued to pump the entire year after my twins were born all day long. Ok, maybe not all day long, but many hours of my days were spent attached to a breast pump. It was challenging. I didn't get the emotional attachment a lot of moms get breastfeeding. I felt, in some ways, like I wasn't breastfeeding at all. What was most important though was that my son was receiving breastmilk, even if he couldn't nurse. I wanted him to receive breastmilk and he did.

Supplementing is not the enemy
There was a time when the twins the twins were about 6 months that they were eating more than I was pumping. I tried to nurse and pump more to get my supply up, but now that they were sleeping through the night, I just wasn't keeping up with the demand. After all of this hard work was this the end? I had worked so hard to avoid formula and now is that my only option? I finally caved and supplemented a bottle or two for formula to give the twins more. They needed the nutrition, still weren't eating solids well, and I couldn't deny them. It made me a little sad, I'm not going to lie, but I knew I was doing everything I could and most of their food was still breastmilk so I just had to accept some formula.

No matter what you, or anyone else decides to do, you're a good mom, they're a good mom, and everyone i doing the best that they can.
You're not a bad person because you decide not to breastfeed. It is hard work breastfeeding multiples. I totally get that. Everyone needs to make the best decision for them and their family. What we, as fellow moms can do, is support each other through this crazy world of mothering.

So I encourage you, if you're interested in breastfeeding, to find a group in your area for support. Contact a lactation consultant. Find a nearby Le Leche League. There are many groups who can help you get the information you need and support you need to be successful, even with multiples.

 About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Up To Your Toes (http://www.uptoyourtoes.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

Prematurity Awareness Month

As Prematurity Awareness Month comes to an end and we begin the busy holiday season, I thought I'd share a few things about a subject that has touched many moms of multiples: Prematurity.

In the US, 1 in every 9 babies is born before full term, 37 weeks. While a multiple pregnancy can seem to drag on and you feel super pregnant much earlier than a singleton pregnancy, it is still important to keep your babies inside of you until 39+ weeks.

For expecting mothers, preterm labor is a very scary situation.

Preterm labor

• Preterm labor can happen to any pregnant woman.
• Some women have a higher risk than others.
• It is important to learn the signs of preterm labor so you can get help immediately.

So what are the signs of preterm labor?

• Contractions (your belly tightens like a fist) every 10 minutes or more often
• Change in vaginal discharge (leaking fluid or bleeding from your vagina)
• Pelvic pressure—the feeling that your baby is pushing down
• Low, dull backache
• Cramps that feel like your period
• Belly cramps with or without diarrhea

If you experience any of these it's important to drink water (little fact I learned when pregnant with my twins was that dehydration can actually start labor), stop what you're doing to rest, and go to your doctor or the hospital immediately. Expecting moms of multiples especially should listen to their bodies, rest when they need it and stay hydrated!

With proper care, preterm labor may be able to be controlled or stopped.

To learn more about prematurity and a healthy pregnancy, check out the March of Dimes website. They have a lot of great information for expecting moms and moms who may have had preterm babies.

Spreading the word is a great way to raise awareness of prematurity and hopefully decrease the numbers of premature births worldwide.

 About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Up To Your Toes (http://www.uptoyourtoes.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

Berry Balls, Toddlers and the Long Walk Home

 by Darlena Cunha

When taking toddlers out in public, you have a choice: you can have people laughing at you, or you can have them staring at you in annoyance.  I choose the former, as often as I can.  It’s been many months since I’ve been allowed anonymity anywhere.  Twins tend to attract attention, but even one toddler in an unlikely place will draw curious eyes.

People always start out enamoured (unless we’re getting onto an airplane).  It’s then my job to keep them that way, and not to let the situation devolve into one where shocked onlookers, unused to toddler antics, are forced to witness two babies being strongarmed out of a place in the football hold.  I’d rather people laugh at me than silently shoot mental daggers at me, so I look absurd a lot of the time.

One morning, the babies and I took a walk to the dumpsters where everyone in the condo complex is to deposit their garbage.  Getting there was easy enough, but the babies knew that naptime awaited them back home, and they were determined not to go back inside.  I walked a bit away, as if I would leave without them.  They laughed at me in their baby way.  I hid behind a truck.  Nothing doing.  Finally, I was able to get them engaged in a game where we had short races.

“Ready? Set? GOOOOOOOOOO!” We all ran and yelled go at the top of our lungs for a few paces, then stopped.

“Ready? Set? GOOOOOOOOOO!”  We did this over and over again all the way back to our townhouse.  We were loud.  We were funny.  My neighbor saw us and laughed at me.  It did not matter.  We got back inside the house.

Later that day, the babies and I went to the community pool.  As we were leaving, two young men sauntered in and laid out on the plastic sunning chairs.  I had already done the dragging-a-screaming-and-writhing-toddler-out-of-the-pool-area the week before, so I was determined to try a new approach.  I tried “ready, set, go” again.  It didn’t work, and I have a feeling nothing looks more hilarious than an adult woman making exaggerated running motions while yelling go at the top of her lungs all by herself.  I changed tactics and tried to get them to come with me to the mailboxes.  One of them tentatively started walking toward me, and I lavished her with loud garrish praise.  But when she saw her sister showing no interest, she tottered back to the bushes where they were picking berries.  I was defeated yet again.  I tried making their pool toys extremely interesting.  One took a look, grabbed a toy, and threw it to the ground.  At this point, the men sunning themselves were dissolving into giggles.  Exasperated, I walked across the lot, and to my surprise, the bushes there also had berries.

“Babies, look!  Berries!”

“Balls?” they asked.

“Yes, babies.  Balls.  Lots of balls.  Come over here.  Play with these balls.  My balls are better than your balls, just look!”

I was babbling; I looked ludicrous, but after 30 minutes of trying everything to get those babies to move, I wasn’t about to let this golden opportunity slide away – even if it meant I had to loudly praise the glorious attributes of my balls.

I can only imagine the reaction of onlookers because by this time my entire focus was on the twins.  It worked.  They came over.  Each new bush had better balls.  And we made our way back to the house where the best balls of all were waiting.  Acorns.

Before I had children, I would have shuddered at this reality.  I would have considered it a loss of dignity.  I would have said that children of mine would be well-behaved enough to simply listen to me when out in public.  I know now how naive that is.  I consider playing games like these as saving my dignity, in fact.  If people are laughing, they’re not judging.  If people are laughing, then my babies’ existence is not disrupting their lives in a negative way.  And when a parent is brave enough to go out in public, really, that’s all they can hope for.  I’d rather look foolish than desperate.

About the Author: Darlena Cunha is owner of the Tales of the Unlikely Mother blog at www.parentwin.com. She is (obviously) a mother of twins, journalist, novelist, editor, and blogger.

Toddlerhood: Twin Style

by Emily Pepka

 

Every single person I talked to told me the first year of raising twins would be the hardest. If I could make it through the first year, things would get so much better, they told me. 

Well, I am here to tell you, those people were all liars. I survived my first year just fine. There were challenges. There were adjustments to be made. With 2 extremely premature babies, life was pretty busy and hectic that first year. But you know what...if I put the babies down, they stayed there. If I put them in a swing, they were happy and content for even a few minutes. They woke up every few hours, but they'd eat and go back to sleep.

And then they turned one. Soon after, they started walking. And soon after that, they were running. And before I knew it, I had 2 full blown toddlers. And let me tell you, TODDLERS are hard work. 

Doing the simplest tasks has become such a challenge. I have to adjust and take into account the needs of not just one, but two, opinionated and picky toddlers. Meals are mass chaos. I can't even sit here quietly for 5 minutes typing up this blog post without a kid climbing on my head, 20 little fingers to swat away from the computer, and Yo Gabba Gabba blaring in the background because someone figured out which button is the volume button (just mount your TV as high as possible now, moms of multiples. You can thank me later).

I see pictures of friends with just one child, sitting quietly and reading a book, or painting a picture. That never happens at our house. I might sit quietly with one twin for a minute, but soon enough, the other will require something different, or will distract the quiet twin. Suddenly, a quiet moment turns into a crazy fight over a truck. Please note, we have probably 4 of the exact same truck. None of them are as good as this ONE truck though. 

Now I'm sure there are similar challenges with siblings, but with 2 different ages, I'm sure you don't have two naked kids running around your house, peeing left and right while you try to potty train them. And with that, I think I will potty train one at a time. Let's start with my daughter. Then let's hope I have enough patience left to potty train my son so he's not in diapers at 4. 

All of that is hard. When they run in two different directions at the park things get a little frantic. But our biggest challenge yet is keeping the house safe and toddler proof. I have two very bright children. I am very blessed. They are smarter than they look though, and with one urging on the other, things very quickly get out of control. 

Example:

That would be 2 children sitting on top of the kitchen counter after using the oven to climb up. And why yes, my chairs ARE on my dining room table in the background from a previous incident involving the chandelier. I can't let my children out of sight for a second. I don't take showers anymore. You don't have to sit too close to me, I understand. The knives are now in a drawer that is locked and far out of their reach. The oven is also now locked with a new lock that they haven't figure out. Yet. Feel free to contact me for any tips on good locks for your drawers, cabinets, and appliances. I have a lot of experience. When a vending machine full of child proofing gear at a hospital gets you excited, you know you have a problem. And the vending machine is at CHLA, for those interested ;) and the locks and things are actually cheaper than you'll find them at Babies R Us. I digress....

So let me be the honest one who tells you, the first year is definitely not the hardest. I'm sorry if this is bad news for everyone waking up with their newborn twins at 2am...and 4am....and 6am. But while they are a challenge and make me want to rip out my hair frequently, I wouldn't want it any other way. They make me laugh constantly and have shown me the joys in all the little things in life. They cheer for me every time I enter a room or do a dance (what a self esteem boost!). They're each others best friends. And at the end of the day, when they are finally asleep, while I'm lying there exhausted and partially bald, I miss my crazy little twins and can't wait for the adventures the next day has in store.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

Stranger Questions

Let me get this straight…

by Emily Pepka

Funny and ridiculous things strangers said to us in just one weekend ...

"Oh twins? 2 boys?" – I dress my daughter in an obscene amount of pink and put her in bows and headbands, usually to avoid this question. It clearly doesn’t always work.

"That's a real baby!" -What did you think it was?

"Oh there's 2!" –As my husband and I push around a double stroller. No, we got the double stroller for fun?

"Are they identical?" Ok, we get this one a lot. Usually from people who know we have a boy and a girl already. There's one big difference that makes them not identical. Can you guess what it is?

"Is that your doll?" -As my daughters thrashes violently and screams. I know some dolls can be life like but come on!

"I've always wanted twins."- Another one we get a lot that just cracks me up. Apparently everyone in the world wants twins?   Fine by me, I love having twins, but I can't say it was my lifelong dream ;)

"They don't look alike." – They’re not identical. They're essentially the same as siblings born years apart, they just happened to be conceived at the same time. Do you look the same as your sister or brother?

We also had several women come up to us and move the shade of our stroller to see the babies inside. Awkward. Who does that? They’ve probably covered up for a reason. If there are 2 seats in a stroller and the shade pulled over both, let’s all just assume there’s 2 children in the stroller.

I guess people are just pretty curious about twins.

 About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).

April is National Multiple Birth Awareness Month

April is National Multiples Birth Awareness Month. 

Every year, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins (NOMOTC - link on the side bar) asks local clubs to reach out to the greater community and share stories about raising twins, triplets and more.

This year, to that end, the BCPMA will reach out to our community partners who serve multiples families so that we can learn from one another. We will also use this blog to share stories with one another.

If you are raising multiples, serve multiples in your business or organization, conduct multiples research, or are a twin or triplet yourself, please consider sharing you story here.

We will consider previously published blog posts.

Check out the submissions guide tab, and get in touch with us! We'd love to hear your story.

Confessions of a Twin Mom

 Confessions of a Twin Mom

by Emily Pepka

Sometimes...I don't make dinner on purpose so my husband either has to make something or we have to go out/get take out.

Sometimes...I go for walks just as an excuse to chit chat with neighbors aka ADULTS!

Sometimes...I leave their clothes on for a few spit up episodes before I change them. Because I just can't be changing outfits every 10 minutes.

Sometimes...I leave the housework undone and laundry piling a little too high, just so I can have extra time to cuddle with my munchkins.

Sometimes...I don't eat lunch. Ok, usually I don't eat lunch.

Sometimes...I let the twins cry a little longer than I probably should, just so I can sit down for just 1 second longer.

Sometimes...I sneak out of bed before the twins so I can enjoy a cup of coffee before the craziness begins. Sadly, they can usually tell I went downstairs and they freak out. How do they know?? Not ok.

Sometimes...I let my babies watch TV because I know it keeps them entertained and happy (usually) and then I can catch up on my DVRed shows while pumping for the 109385081305 time of the day.

Sometimes...I use tummy time as an excuse to wear them out so they'll nap.

Sometimes...I let them nap in their swing, just so they'll nap for a long time and I can get something done.

Sometimes...I just want to lay in bed all day cuddling with my babies. Because I'll never get these moments with them back and I want to soak them all up as much as possible.

Always...I love being a mom of twins :) Yes, I have my hands full. Yes, they're absolutely worth it.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org). 

Parents of Preemies Day

Thank you to BCPMA Member Emily Pepka for this timely post! March 10 is Parents of Preemies Day. This post is a compilation of thoughts and photos from her blog, Twice the Miracle.

What Prematurity Means to Me

by Emily Pepka

Today is Parents of Preemies Day!

That might mean very little to some people, but to the 15 million moms or dads of babies born too soon each year, it means a lot.

What makes prematurity even more difficult is that in so many cases, it can be prevented. With research, access to healthcare and just spreading the word and awareness, the risks of prematurity can be drastically reduced.

Prematurity is very real and it's something you never expect. I was expecting the birth of my first children to be the happiest day of my life, not the scariest. I was hoping to be able to hold and cuddle my babies, but instead, I saw them wheeled away barely breathing. I wanted to take them home with me, but instead, I left the hospital empty handed and went back to an empty house with my little hearts an hour away from me. I was hoping to spend our first few days bonding and playing together, instead, I watched them struggling to survive through plastic with tubes and chords everywhere and a constant beeping going on around me of machines keeping them alive.

And it's just not fair. Not fair that my babies got off to such a rough start. Not fair that my husband hardly saw them for the first few months of their lives. Not fair that I could do nothing but sit in the hospital and hold them and pray they'd be ok. Not fair that so many other parents have to go through this same thing.

Prematurity will always be a part of our lives. It's hard to forget about it now as we go to all the doctors appointments, meet with all the specialists, get the beloved synagis shots for the 2nd year in a row, but I'm not sure I'll ever forget those first few months, or this challenging first year with our preemies.

I know a lot of people look at them today and don't even think about them as preemies and I'm so happy that's the case. They have really overcome great odds to be the healthy wild pair that they are. I'm so grateful that we have been so lucky and that our babies are really starting to thrive.

I look at their faces every day and I'm just overwhelmed with how happy I am to have them and how much I love them. If anything positive came out of them being born too soon, it's my never ending appreciation for how precious they are and how lucky I am to have them.

So steal an extra kiss today from your little ones and tell them how much you love them. They are all little miracles.

About the Author: Emily Pepka is a proud Air Force wife and mom of twins. Her boy/girl twins were born in June 2011 at only 27 weeks. Her blog, Twice the Miracle (http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com) documents her family's life through the NICU and beyond. In January 2013, Emily and her husband welcomed a full term healthy singleton baby boy. The Pepka's are currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base, volunteer with the March of Dimes Family Teams Committee and are members of the Beach Cities Parents of Multiples Association (www.twinsclub.org).